Is it necessary to go to the couch of a psychoanalyst in order to decipher your unconscious? Not at all. After all, it manifests itself in dreams, forgetfulness, erroneous actions. And although this is a difficult task, everyone can learn to receive and read his messages. They hide the keys to a more harmonious life.
“I forgot about the anniversary of our wedding again,” one lament. “What a shame, yesterday I called the boss a mother,” another admits. Which of us has never experienced annoyance, and sometimes – terrible awkwardness in such situations? The surname forgotten during an important meeting, the date that we miss, although we should not have, at the same time, the document disappeared from under the hands … no one is safe from such misfortunes that sometimes entail sad consequences.
There is no doubt from the point of view of psychoanalysis: in most cases, such incidents are responsibly unconscious. But these are not just evil leprosy, but persistent signals coming from the internal universe. It makes sense to listen to them in order to restore the connection between conscious thinking and the most irrational part of us and it is better to realize your actions. We offer you a guide created in cooperation with a psychoanalytic psychotherapist Elena Ratner.
Open to the unknown to himself
How to handle the manifestations of the unconscious, unpredictable and uncontrolled? First of all, we will follow the simple rule: instead of justifying our oversights with fatigue or distraction, we will take a closer look at them without fear and shame, we will listen to the conflicting internal impulses.
Allowing them to manifest, we will get a chance to find out what our unknown side reports. Is this method of interpretation? Of course not. Self -analysis is complicated for someone who actually avoids knowledge of themselves. But if we want and open new information, this is a lonely study of our depths is quite feasible.
1. Notice that it is forgotten (displacement)
When we forget or cannot remember our own name, this is a sign of crowding out. One of the reasons: this name resembles the name of a dear person dear to us.
Example: At the work of the 29-year-old Anna, it is not possible to remember the name of the assistant. Her best school girlfriend who died was also called her best. Here, the complex of the survivor may contribute to oblivion: “Why did I survive, not it?"Even if we want to stop asking this question, he returns from the past. When we forget the name of someone familiar, this is often connected with suppressed thoughts about someone who wears the same or consonant name. For example, conflicting feelings are often between brothers and sisters or between friends: bitterness is mixed with them, jealousy … Forgetting the name, we may unconsciously resort to a soundless “mental execution”.
Advice: When we find that we forget or cannot remember something, we can think: “Why do I have so many dual feelings? That I might have to express, but I hold to myself?"
2. Analyze the reservations (hidden impulses)
To detect the manifestations of the unconscious, some openness https://globalpharmacy24.com/ is required. This is even more correct in the case of reservations – its own unconscious can put us in an ambiguous position.
Example: Alexey Kudrin, who held the post of Minister of Finance of Russia in 2010, once said: “The fight against corruption is the main evil today”. Reservations often leave us a taste of shame. Why? Because they often hide suppressed anger … which eventually crawls out in the most unexpected place. This anger can be caused by the fact that we are not heard or that we cannot be ourselves.
Advice: Instead of trying to forget about everything, ask yourself questions: “Why did I allow this reservation at the same time, it is in such conditions? Who my anger is addressed to?"Sometimes we find that the deep reason is associated with the moment of personal history when we felt that they did not understand us. But, in any case, it is better to investigate the source of anger than to allow him to manage us.
3. Cope with the loss of things (fill the absence)
Who most often loses his things and what is the reason?
Example: 19-year-old Nikita regularly loses the keys, and 34-year-old Marina every time she washes her hands, leaves the wedding ring on the sink. Why? We will not rush with generalizations, but it is known that some compulsive “confusing” are those who have not had a contingent (accepting emotions of the child) of the mother. They did not feel support and security in the maternal presence, so some later begin to lose things to repeat their experience of the missing object (mother), creating for themselves the illusion that they independently control its/its absence.
Advice: If we believe that the mother was inattentive to us, it is better to consult with a psychotherapist. Because when it comes to the primary relationship between the mother and the baby, this is a deep problem, it is difficult to solve it on its own.
4. Detect erroneous actions (warnings)
We all live under the rule of our own history, in which there are good and bad sides. The problem is that until we identify the bad sides, they continue to act on us.
Example: 40-year-old Igor reflected on the possibility of a divorce. At that moment, he played with his two -year -old son, throwing him into the air. And misfortune happened. Fall, ambulance, relief that everything worked out … But why did he drop his son, thinking about divorcing a marriage? What did this erroneous action indicate? In the course of introspection, Igor transformed the question: from what he really wanted to leave? In his two years, he lost his younger brother due to an accident. This tragedy laid an imprint on his psyche: jealousy for his brother who took his mother from him, forced Igor to wish, so that he disappeared, which eventually happened, leaving him with a sense of relief, but also guilt and fantasy about his own destructiveness.
The age of his son reminds of this tragedy and makes, on the one hand, try to forget about his fault and the feelings that she causes. On the other hand, it gives rise to fear for the well -being of his own child and the fear that that long history can be repeated again. This answer did not come immediately. But Igor decided to think, slowly, before getting off. He realized that the matter is not in a relationship with his wife, but in his desire, on the one hand, to forget the past, on the other hand, to protect his son.
Advice: Analyze your story so as not to repeat it.
5. Open the meaning of dreams
Analyze your dreams without falling into caricature interpretations, you need to study. Ask Freud: if you want to know the meaning of sleep, you should write it down and then develop free associations to almost every word. At the same time, it must be taken into account that dreams carry out displacement and condensation.
Example: displacement-when feelings that are in reality are caused by one acquaintances are experienced in a dream in relation to someone else. Condensation – when the main character of the dream combines the features of several real faces: he can be dressed like a, to talk like B, go like in, and so on.
Advice: solve dreams like small puzzles, gradually and patient.
6. Listen to your body
In addition to the mental unconscious, we have a somatic. Heartbeat, breathing frequency, sweat – unconscious processes. We rarely notice how our body works. But it addresses us with the help of bodily symptoms.
Example: Chronic pain, overweight, dermatological diseases – these problems seem to become increasingly common. Many of our contemporaries have bad relations with their own body and serious gaps in their body image. We have a touch deficit, which forms the basis of physical suffering. How to make up for it? The best way is soft gymnastics or bodily relaxation, which allow you to realize that the body is not just a mass of flesh. You can go to lie and try to feel that the ankle is feeling when we turn the foot. Feel the size of your hands ..
Advice: If during relaxation you felt pain somewhere in the body, try to work with associations. What reminds me of this pain? How differently I can call this zone? It is not always easy to do alone. It’s good if you have a loved one who can ask these questions and listen carefully to the answers without imposing your own reasons.